


Spoil Me Rotten

by Queen_Anarchy



Category: LazyTown
Genre: ???? - Freeform, Boy x boy, M/M, Yaoi, a strip club scene, have fun, idk if this qualifies as nsfw-- there's a stripclub scene and theres a lil bit of violence, idk what else to tag this as, sportarobbie, this is going to be multiple chapters, yes you read that correctly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-04
Updated: 2016-10-17
Packaged: 2018-08-13 00:54:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 8,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7955812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queen_Anarchy/pseuds/Queen_Anarchy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sportacus and Robbie get into a bit of trouble and get taken out to the middle of nowhere, they need a way home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

“You sure this is gonna work boss?” The shorter man looked up at his superior, “Do you even know these guys?”

The taller and heavier man scoffed, “Yeah, i’ve been watchin’ these two, we can get a lot of ransom money with them, now shut up, i’ve seen the ears on one of them and they might hear you.”

The shorter man nodded his head and grabbed a brown bag and a gun out of a white van, “Hows we gonna do it?”

The taller one brushed his hair back and bit down on the end of his cigar, “I’ll go after the muscular one I guess,” He nudged his partner in crime, “Wouldn’t want you to get killed”

The shorter of the two snorted and shoved the gun in the front of his pants, “Whatever man.”


	2. Home Only For The Day

“Pass the ball Stingy!”

“No, it’s mine!”

Sportacus laughed as he watched Stephanie skillfully steal the ball from Stingy’s grasp, he had taught them the rules of basketball well, he was so proud to see them use what they learned.

The mayor stepped out of his home and waved “Stephanie! Time to come in for the night!”

Stephanie pouted and passed the ball to Pixel, “Do I have to?”

“Yes, Stephanie. I’m sure Sportacus would agree with me too!”

She turned to face the hero, watching him sadly as he nodded in agreement.

Pixel looked at his watch, “Yeah, I gotta go too. See you guys tomorrow!”

Stingy nodded and looked towards his house, “My Piggy Bank probably misses me.”

“Sleep well! Don’t forget to brush your teeth in the morning!” Sportacus smiled as he waved all the children off to their respective homes for the night.  
He walked off towards the middle of town so he could call down his ladder, he stopped himself, he heard a shuffling behind him.  
“Come on kids, it’s time to go home, no more games.”

)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Robbie held the plastic bags tightly in his hands, proud of himself for buying so many cake mixes at once and having the strength to actually carry them home. He couldn’t wait to go home and make his favorite, triple chocolate.  
He heard some footsteps behind him, it was probably just Sportacus trying to talk to him before he left for the night.  
_“No thanks.”_ Robbie thought.  
He ignored the footsteps, though it would have been best not to.  
A bag was put over his head and he felt something cold and metal jab at his back.

“Let’s move. Quickly.” The shorter man grabbed Robbie’s arms and forced him forward, “I don’t want any funny business either, or you’re gonna get it.”

Robbie squirmed and kicked behind him, “What? No! Let go! Sport-”  
He was hit hard over the head, he winced and fell onto the cold ground.  
Everything went black.


	3. A Night In Nowhere

Sportacus opened his eyes, he saw nothing but darkness and a small sliver of light.

He heard a familiar voice, and oddly enough he heard... chains? Handcuffs?

“Son of a- where the hell…?”

Sportacus’s eyes widened, “Robbie?”

“Sportacus? Is that you?”

“Yes!”

“Oh thank god… where are we?”

Sportacus looked around for anything the light would shine on, but there was nothing.  
“Um...My guess is as good as yours…”

Robbie went quiet for a while.  
“AUGHH”

“What?”

“We’re in… in a van or something.” He paused, that thing of light...I think that’s the door. You have strong legs right?”

“Of course!I never skip leg day!”

Robbie snorted, “Alright Sportaloser. Try kicking it open.”

Sportacus scooted over close enough to the door and paused, “What if they hear us?”

Robbie rolled his eyes, “Who cares? It’s not like they’re going to stop and tell us they’re gonna turn around if we don’t behave.”

The shorter man shrugged and kicked the door, once, twice, and a third time until it finally busted.

The two watched as the thin metal door scraped against the pavement below, the unaware drivers leaving it in the dust of the desert. There weren’t any deserts around Lazytown that they knew of.  
They were really far from home.

Robbie began to panic, “Oh no, Sport how are we gonna-” He started pulling on his cuffs, hurting himself more than actually freeing himself.

Sportacus looked towards the doorway and noticed something shiny hanging from a nail, a set of keys.  
He scooted back over to Robbie and held his wrist “Calm down, just think, do you have anything that could get us out of these?” He gestured to his cuffs and looked back over to the keys, “One of us can get by breaking them and then one of us can unlock the other.”

“I, Um…” He paused, he flailed as he tried to reach into his vest, to no avail.  
”I have a metal nail file in my vest. I can’t reach it. Just... get it and try not to make it weird.”

Sportacus raised an eyebrow, “Why do you have a nail file?”

“I like making my nails look nice. Shut up. Do you want it or not?”

Sportacus rolled his eyes and reached under Robbie’s vest, ignoring the flustered look on Robbie’s face.  
He plucked it out and began filing off his own cuffs.

“How come you get to go first?” Robbie whined as he kicked Sportacus’s thigh.

He winced and narrowed his eyes at Robbie “Do you want to roll out of the back of this van first or would you like me to make sure you don’t?”

Robbie averted his eyes and pouted, “Fine.”

As Sportacus broke through the metal cuffs he stood up and faced the doorway, he gripped the side of the van and grabbed the keys then staggered back to Robbie and unlocked the silver cuffs.

Robbie rubbed his wrists and straightened his vest, “What now Sportadork?”

Sportacus bit his lip and stared at Robbie. “...We’re gonna have to jump.”

“WHAT?!”

“I mean we could wait for the drivers to slow down but…” He stared out onto the wasteland, “-I don’t think they’re going to.”

“Oh no, I am not doing that, I don’t know about you but I don’t want to die today.”

“Robbie we have to, it’s the only way out of here safely.”  


“Safely?! Nothing about this is safe!”

“It is if you do it right!”

“Oh, excuse my ignorance, how does one go about jumping out of a moving vehicle safely, smart guy?”

“You have to tuck and roll.”

Robbie scoffed, “What the hell does that even mean?”

“Just… keep your arms close to your body and roll out of the van.”

“No, i’m not doing that.”

Sportacus grabbed Robbie’s arm and looked him in the eyes “Robbie, you just have to trust me. When have I ever put you in an unsafe situation?”

Robbie looked at Sportacus and blushed, averting his eyes as he went silent.  
“...Alright. I trust you.”

Sportacus smiled and grabbed onto Robbie’s hand, “We’ll go at the same time, okay?”

“Fine.” He closed his eyes and pulled his arms up over his head, to protect his skull.

Sportacus grabbed Robbie by the waist and pulled him forward, “Are you ready?”

Robbie winced and tensed up “Ready as i’ll ever be.”

Sportacus nodded and lunged forward, sending them both tumbling on the dusty and rocky ground.

Once the rolling stopped they both sprawled out onto the ground, breathing heavily and feeling their skin slowly bruise and their cuts sting.

Sportacus sat up and scoped out his missing hat, once it was found he stared at Robbie on the ground.

Robbie opened his eyes and stared back up at him, he narrowed his eyes to shield his eyes from the sun.  
“You’re insane.”

Sportacus shrugged and lent Robbie a hand. He pulled him up and checked his body for any serious wounds, as well as his own.

Robbie swatted Sportacus’s hand away when he started dusting him off. He looked down and ran a hand through his hair, “...that wasn’t as bad as I thought.”

Sportacus giggled and looked around for any sign of life.  
He saw nothing but the van they had just jumped out of drive away until it was just a speck in the dust.

Robbie must have been watching too, because he sat down and began to cry.  
“Now we have nowhere to go, we’re going to die out here!”

Sportacus kneeled down and put a hand on Robbie’s shoulder, “We’re not going to die, come on, we can start walking in the direction the van went, chances are that there's a town in that direction.”

Robbie sniffled and stared at Sportacus, “Right, because going to the same town our kidnappers are going is a great idea.”

“Robbie, they’d never be able to find us.”

“How do you know that?! You don’t know where we are either!”

“You have to trust me.”

Robbie pulled his knees up and wiped his eyes, though it didn’t help much, his mascara was already running.  
“Whatever.”  
He stood up and crossed his arms.  
“Are we gonna start walking or not?”

Sportacus began walking and Robbie soon followed, they walked in silence, although Sportacus tried to strike conversation his self-proclaimed arch-nemesis refused to answer.

After hours passed the sky went from its beautiful blue to a fiery orange as the sun began to set over the empty desert. Which was good, because Robbie’s feet were getting tired hours ago.

“Can we finally stop Sportaflop?”

Sportacus looked up at the sky and watched it slowly become darker, “Yes, I don’t really know the time, but it’s probably around seven-ish.”

“And?”

“I have to go to sleep soon anyway.”

“I should’ve been asleep hours ago.”

Sportacus laughed, “Well technically you were.”

Robbie stared daggers at Sportacus as he settled onto the hard and rocky ground, “So were you.”

“To be fair I woke up before you.”

Robbie rolled his eyes, “Whatever.”  
He laid down on his back and stared up at the darkening sky, “At least I can get some peace and quiet.”

Sportacus laid down next to him and rested his arms on his torso, he watched the sun set over the horizon peacefully.

The same couldn’t be said about Robbie, he was mostly just disgusted that he was next to Sportacus of all people. As if the ground wasn’t making him uncomfortable already he could feel Sportacus staring at him.


	4. Rottenville or Bust

Sportacus woke up to the sun’s light shining in his eyes, he looked above at the light blue sky of morning and smiled. He sat up and looked over to Robbie, he was already awake.

His hair was messed up and he had dirt all over his clothes. He raised his eyebrows at Sportacus and smirked, “Good morning, sleeping ugly.”

Sportacus blinked and reached up for his hat, it was missing again.  
He felt nothing but a tangled mop of hair on his head.  
He looked around for it and sloppily put it back on, “Good morning to you too... Robbie…”  
He stood up and dusted himself off, “When do you want to start walking again?”

Robbie rolled his eyes “Do you ever give it a rest? You just woke up!”

“Exactly! I just got done resting, Robbie!” Sportacus chirped.

Robbie pinched the bridge of his nose and mumbled a few profanities, “Whatever, I’m not walking again today anyway.”

Sportacus’s smile dropped instantly, “...What?”

“You heard me. I’m not walking.”

“Robbie that’s the only way we’re going to get there! What do you mean you’re not walking?”

Robbie scrunched up his nose and squinted at Sportacus, “Wow, you really are just sports aren’t you?” He paused and rested his head on the palm of his hand, “I’m hitchhiking. You can come with me or don’t, either way I don’t care.”

Sportacus stayed silent, he didn’t even know what hitchhiking was, but anything Robbie did was bound to have negative consequences.  
“...I’ll come with you.”

Robbie gave a quiet chuckle and looked up at the shorter man, “It seems that you do have some sense in you after all.”  
He stood up and dusted himself off, he walked over to the faded black pavement and stood there.

The elf stared at Robbie awkwardly as he walked slowly to stand next to him, did he say something wrong? Was Robbie waiting for a car to come by so he could…?  
Sportacus grabbed Robbie’s wrist and pulled him away from the road.

He pulled his arm away as quick as he stared into the windows of Sportacus’s soul, “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

Sportacus looked Robbie in the eye and hardened his jaw, “I don’t like how close you’re standing to the road.”

Robbie stared blankly at Sportacus, until something visibly clicked in his head.  
“Oh for the love of- I’m not gonna-” He paused and studied the shorter man’s expression, a mix of fear and anger. "Sport, hitchhiking is when you wait for a car to come and pick you up.”

Sportacus’s expression softened as his face turned bright red, “Oh… Sorry, Robbie…”

Robbie crossed his arms and turned away in a huff.  
“I told you that i’d trust you. Why can’t you trust me back?”

Sportacus kept quiet, he stared at Robbie and waited for more to be said, but there was nothing.  
He then heard the faint sound of ...music?  
“Do you hear that?”

Robbie turned around and raised his eyebrows, “...No?”

Sportacus looked around frantically before he shot Robbie a toothy grin, “It’s music!”

Robbie looked at Sportacus and cringed, “If this is some stupid act to try and get me to sing and/or dance I’m not moving.”

“No! Robbie I hear a car too!”

“There aren’t any cars around you freak.” Robbie stared at the shorter man, trying to catch some sort of sign of insanity or “sports candy” withdrawal, until he caught a glimpse of his ears.  
“Oh…”

“What? Do you hear it now too?”

“No, I just… Do your ears do anything to ah… help your hearing?”

Sportacus’s eyes widened as he pulled his hat down over his ears, hiding them from the taller man's eyes.  
“Yeah… ohhh, right. Humans can’t hear as well as Elves can.” He beamed.

Robbie looked down the empty road and back at Sportacus, “Can you tell how far away it is?”

“Uh, about… a mile?”

Robbie nodded and stood silently next to road once more, “Are they coming this way?”

Sportacus leaned in the direction of the noise, “...Yes!”

Robbie crossed his arms and smirked, “Wow, you really are useful for something.”

Sportacus didn’t catch the meanness in Robbie’s statement and smiled, “Thank you!”

Robbie rolled his eyes and snorted.

Minutes had passed until they finally spotted a colorful van in the distance, only then could Robbie hear the blaring rock music coming from the vehicle in question.  
“Oh great, teenagers.”

Sportacus looked at Robbie, “How can you tell?”

“Well…” Robbie rubbed his chin, “They’re much louder than those brats at home, and they’re driving a van with car chalk all over it.”

“Oh…”  
Sportacus observed as Robbie stepped into the road in front of the oncoming car, panicking a bit as he wondered what his intentions were.

As the car rolled up and made a final stop a blonde haired boy leaned out of the window, “What’s up dudes? Ya need a lift or something?”

“Precisely.”

The boy in the window sneered at his friends and leaned back out, “Sorry I don’t speak …whatever that is.”

Sportacus smiled at Robbie, who was trying hard not to lose it.  
“We’d love a ride!”

“Where to?”

Robbie lifted his head and looked around, there’s no way lazytown was anywhere near here.  
“Just to the nearest town.”

“Sounds good!” He leaned back into the van as the side door rolled open, revealing a whole group of other teens, “I’m Charlie by the way,” he gestured to his other friends, “That’s Luke, Emelia, Bobby and Tina.”

Robbie huffed as he crawled into the vehicle, “Good to know.” Meanwhile Sportacus took turns getting to meet every single kid in the van, Robbie could never get why he was so friendly.

As they rode through the searing desert for hours they finally slowed when they passed a sign,  
“Welcome To Rottenville,” the sign read.

Robbie’s eyes widened as he gazed at the purple and gold sign, he couldn’t believe it.  
“Hey, um, you guys can just drop us off here.”

“Alrighty then, you dudes have a great night!” Charlie slowed the van to a crawl and opened the side door, letting the two men jump out. As they rode away Charlie leaned out of the window “See you guys later!”

Robbie dusted off his nearly asleep legs and scoffed, “As if.”

Sportacus stretched and dropped down to do a few push-ups, “They were nice kids, Robbie.”

“So?”

“And they drove us here! Aren’t you happy about that?”

Robbie rolled his eyes and crossed his arms tightly across his chest, “I suppose.”  
Less than 100 yards stood the first building of the town, a gas station.  
“When you’re done, Sportaflop, we should get cleaned up in that gas station over there, if they have a bathroom that is.”

Sportacus jumped up and smiled at Robbie, “Okay! I’m done by the way.”

Robbie wrinkled his nose and faked a smile at Sportacus, “I see that.”  
He began to walk quickly towards the gas station without warning, making Sportacus jog after him.

Once they were inside Robbie took a quick turn into the bathroom, like he knew the place like the back of his hand.

As the two men strolled into the bathroom together the clerk at the counter gave a weird look at his co-worker, “I’m not dealing with it this time, if they start making noises you take care of it.”

))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Robbie looked into the mirror and frowned at his once perfectly placed hair, it was nothing but a dark mop on his head at this point.  
He turned to look at Sportacus, who was still perfectly clean, as always.  
He opened the door to the bathroom and looked around, then back at Sportacus.  
He had an idea.  
“You go outside, I’ll be out there in a bit.”

Sportacus raised an eyebrow at Robbie, “Uh… Okay…?”  
He squeezed between Robbie and the metal door frame, he finally shot Robbie one last glance as he walked out the door.  
Maybe he was thinking too much, Robbie was probably just using the bathroom and-

His pondering came to a halt when he heard a familiar voice yelling his name from behind, it was… Robbie? How did he…?

Sportacus ran to the taller man and looked at the food in his hands, where did he-  
He gasped and shot Robbie a fierce look “Robbie! Did you steal those?!”

Robbie put his hands up defensively, “It’s okay, they hardly even noticed.”

“Robbie! Put them back!”

“Look, if it makes you feel any better I got you something too.” He tossed an apple at Sportacus and sat down on the ground.

“Sports candy! Thank you Robbie.” He felt guilty for taking it, but he was still feeling tired from the day before.

“You know, the rest of the world calls it fruit.”

Sportacus took a bite of the apple and smiled, “I know, I just call it that so the kids will eat it.”

Robbie looked down at his bag of gummy worms and opened them, “You really are something else you know that?”

Sportacus shrugged as he took another bite.  
He looked over to the rest of the town they were going into, “Where are we going after this?”

The taller man looked at the “Welcome To Rottenville” sign thoughtfully,  
“I know one place we can go to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't mean to sound rude if this does, but please don't post this anywhere else.  
> I have already posted it where i want it to be, (on my own tumblr account.)


	5. Tavern of Memories

As Robbie walked into the tavern in front of him, Sportacus stared at the building skeptically.  
“Why does Robbie want to go into a tavern?” he thought.

Robbie stared back at Sportacus, waiting for him to move.  
“You you coming inside or not?”

Sportacus shrugged and followed Robbie inside, immediately feeling the barrier of regret and shame that held the occupants of the tavern. All throughout the tavern there was a hush that followed Robbie as he walked through, making Sportacus nervous.

Robbie quickly made his way over to the bar and sat down. He stared at the bartender, who had his back to him as he cleaned dirty glasses.  
Robbie smiled deviously and shoved the bartender.  
“You always were so rude, won’t even say hello to an old friend!”

The bartender turned around quickly out of rage, but his expression softened as he set his sights on Robbie, “Robbie Rotten, you old bastard! What are you doing here?”  
The bartender leaned over the counter and gave Robbie a hug and a slap on the back.

“Oh you know, just here to order a drink, you know what I want.”

The bartender smiled and shook his head, “Goddamn liar, what’re ya doin back here?” he plucked a glass from the shelf behind him and filled it to the brim with purple liquid, handing it to Robbie, “It’s on the house.” he tucked the purple bottle back onto the shelf and put his hands on his hips,  
“I thought you left for good.”

“Me too,” Robbie took a drink out of the clear glass and shuddered, “But my friend and I are in a bit of trouble.”

Sportacus perked up at the word. Friend? Robbie had never referred to him as his friend before, he smiled and stood proudly behind the taller man.

The bartender quirked an eyebrow, “Friend?”

Robbie set the glass down and grabbed Sportacus out from behind him, “Don’t worry, he’s cool.”

“Well, a friend of Robbie’s is a friend of mine, whataya want, kid?”

Sportacus looked up nervously and spoke quietly, “Ah… just water, please.”

The bartender looked at Robbie and shrugged, “Alrighty then.” He ducked under the counter and came back up, hanging Sportacus a bottle of water.

Robbie leaned over the counter, “As I was saying, we need some help. We were kidnapped and somehow we found ourselves here and we need money to get back home.”

The bartender cringed, “Ah, sorry Robbie, I really ain’t in a good spot to just give money away, the wife an’ I got kids now and money is pretty tight…”

Robbie nodded, “I know, jeeze Frenchie you know me, i’d never ask for money.”

Sportacus made a mental note, his name was Frenchie? He was curious, how did Robbie know him? He stared at his water bottle and shifted around awkwardly, he felt like the biggest third wheel on the planet.

“I plan to work for it.” He smiled deviously, “Is that ah, gentleman’s club, still up and running?”

Frenchie smiled and shook his head, “What are you gonna do, Rotten?”

“You know what i’m gonna do.”

Frenchie laughed, “Well, I don’t know if Rich is still running the place, but i’m sure they’d let you in anyway, if they’re under new management you can just tell them you know Rich personally.”

Robbie downed the rest of the drink and stood up, “Alright,” he looked at Sportacus, signaling him to stand up with him, “It was nice talking to you again Frenchie, tell the wife and kids I said hello for me.”

“Will do! Now get outta here ya psycho.”

Sportacus looked at Frenchie and noticed a lustful look on his face as he watched Robbie’s backside while he walked away from the counter.

He whistled at Robbie as he finally walked out of the bar, Frenchie turned to Sportacus, “You’re a lucky guy ya know.”

Sportacus blushed, “I-I’m not…um…”  
He gave a single nod and rushed out to catch up with Robbie.

“Took you long enough.”

“Sorry I was… talking to Frenchie.”

Robbie nodded and put and hand on Sportacus’s arm, “Stay right here, I need to get one more thing and then we’ll be home free.”

With that there was a sharp flash of light, and Robbie was gone.  
Sportacus looked around in confusion, he’d never seen Robbie do that before, he didn’t even know he had the ability to teleport.  
How many secrets does Robbie have?

There was another flash as Robbie appeared in front of him with a plastic bag in his hands.

Sportacus gasped and glared at Robbie, “Did you steal that stuff?!” He snatched the bag out of Robbie’s hands, “Stealing is wrong, Robbie!”

Robbie growled as he tore the bag back out of Sportacus’s hands, he then balled his hands into fists as he stood over the shorter man, “Sportacus, if you want to go home then you have to let me do what I need to do. We aren’t in Lazytown anymore.”

With that, Sportacus’s expression softened as he began to nod.  
He was right.  
Sportacus had no idea how things worked around here and Robbie very obviously did.  
He stuck out a hand to Robbie, “Fine, I trust you.”

Robbie’s eyes widened at the statement, he stared at the hero’s hand and paused, letting Sportacus’s words run through his head one more time, doubting that he’d ever hear it again. He hesitantly grasped Sportacus’s hand and shook it gently.  
“Thank you.”


	6. Jealousy

Sportacus stared at Robbie, watching the taller man gaze at the neon sign above the club in excitement.  
He’d never get why Robbie would be so excited about going into a strip club, because quite frankly, he was disgusted at the mere thought.  
“Rich’s” was the name of the place, which explained what kind of guy this Rich was.

Robbie jumped in anticipation as he grabbed Sportacus’s arm and dragged him inside.

The pulsing and loud music hit Sportacus like a ton of bricks.  
He could handle the loud kids of lazytown, and he could handle the loud rush of wind that came whenever he jumped out of his airship, but not this.  
It gave him a headache.

Robbie finally let go of Sportacus as he stopped to talk to a waitress, “Excuse me miss, but does Rich still run this place?”

The woman put a hand on her hip as she looked Robbie up and down. “Yeah, why? He’s a busy man.”

Robbie straightened his vest and stood tall, “Tell him that Robbie sent you.”

The woman rolled her eyes and disappeared behind a red velvet curtain before reappearing with a large man.

Sportacus stared at the man in disbelief. The man had at least 7 rings on each hand, “I guess his style fits his name.” He thought.

“Robbie, my boy!” The large man opened up his arms, and with that Robbie nearly pounced on him, giving him a long hug.

Sportacus frowned, “Why doesn’t he ever hug anybody in Lazytown like that?”

When Robbie finally let go Rich held him out, “Look at you, you’ve become a fine man indeed.”

Robbie covered his blushing face, “Come on, I look pretty much the same since you last saw me.”

Sportacus had never seen Robbie so happy to see somebody, he felt...   
He didn’t know what he felt.  
He had never felt this before, this feeling of longing mixed with…. Anger?

Rich gave a booming laugh, almost as loud as the music. “No sir, you’re damn near as tall as the empire state building!” He slapped Robbie’s back and smiled, “What has you comin’ back to a place like this Mr.Rotten?”

Robbie put his hands on his hips and glared at Rich in a bold way, “I need money.”

Rich frowned, “Now Robbie, you know I don’t give handouts, even if you are like the son I never had.”

Robbie thrust the plastic bag in his hands towards him, “No, I wanna earn it like a hard working citizen.” He gave Rich a wink as he grinned, “I even have my own costume.”

Rich took the bag and looked inside the bag, he began to laugh, “Dear lord, boy!”  
He gave the bag back to Robbie, wiping his eye from laughter induced tears.  
“I don’t know if the girls are gonna appreciate you taking their money or not, but you can try if you want to.”

Robbie scoffed as he stared over at the clientele, “Trust me, I’m sure these pigs have enough to go around.”

Rich nodded, “You’re right, if they didn’t i’d be out of the job!”  
He shoved Robbie toward the red velvet curtain, “The dressin’ room’s back there,” he smiled at Robbie “Don’t cause any trouble, ya hear?”

Robbie nodded wildly as he hastily ran back to the dressing rooms.

Rich shook his head and turned to Sportacus, “How do you know that crazy boy?”

Sportacus nervously coughed, “I um… ah…”

“Oh, I get it, you his boyfriend or somethin’?” He shook his head and smiled, “Must be a handful.”

Sportacus shook his head, “Oh, no we’re not-”

“Ah, don’t worry about it son, we don’t discriminate ‘round here. Especially if it’s about Robbie.”

Sportacus looked around, calculating everything that had happened over the last few hours, “Did Robbie use to live here?”

Rich snorted, “Live here? Son he didn’t just live here, he was the life of the place. Always causin’ trouble just to have a lil fun. Hell, he even changed his last name to Rotten.” He frowned and looked to the floor, “Hasn’t been the same without ‘im.”

Sportacus’s eyes widened, he had no idea Robbie was ever like this. The thought of Robbie smiling and having fun with friends made him happy.  
It upset him that he would never be like this in Lazytown.  
“Maybe it’s because he doesn’t have a lot of people his own age,” He thought.  
“....Even though he does have me.”

An eerie hush came over the crowd of drunken men and women as pink and purple lights shined on the middle pole at the front of the room.

Sportacus spun around quickly, unaware of what was going on...

 

Until he saw Robbie on stage, in shimmery lingerie, fingerless gloves, stockings, and platform heels.  
His makeup was applied heavily, but not so much that one would notice.  
His eyeliner wings were sharp enough to pierce a lonely man’s aching heart. His eyeshadow was perfectly dark, like a nighttime fog, to hide the charade he was playing on the unaware patrons.

It made Sportacus’s heart throb, of course he thought Robbie was an alright looking person before, but this…  
This was something else.  
He was absolutely beautiful.

It made Sportacus feel weak.


	7. Til' The World Ends

Robbie took a deep breath as he pulled back the heavy red velvet curtain, the sudden lash of light blinded him.  
All the while a familiar feeling of nostalgia came rushing to him.  
He forgot how much he loved to perform, how much he adored going up on stage and seeing all the smiling faces staring back at him.  
The audience wasn’t smiling.  
No.  
But they were amazed to say the least.  
He stared down at Sportacus on the side of the stage next to Rich, with the same dumbfounded look the rest of the people had.  
He smirked at the elf as he sauntered off to the cold steel pole in front of him.

))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

As the music faded out and faded into another Sportacus made his way to the bar for a better view.  
Sportacus slowed as he began to think about himself, this was innocent, right?  
He was just glad to see his friend up on stage, and nothing else.

_This kitten got your tongue tied in knots, I see,_

The once cold pole was warm now, tucked in between each of Robbie’s thighs as he swung himself up and moved his hips expertly down to the floor.

_Spit it out, cause I'm dying for company,_

His heart pounded with the music as he grinded against the metal, the rush of being on stage was one thing, but with all this adrenaline rushing through him, he felt unstoppable.

_I notice that you got it, you notice that I want it,_

Sounds of approval, the cheering, catcalling.  
It just made him want to work faster.

_You know that I can take it to the next level, baby,_

Sportacus frowned as he was shoved and had his ear shouted in by overly-excited drunk men.  
He was starting to become irritable at them, at Robbie, and himself.

_If you want this good ish, sicker than the remix,_

His mustache began to twitch. Why did he care so much? He felt like tearing Robbie away and going home. He didn’t like how everyone was looking at Robbie, and he didn’t like how Robbie was soaking it all up like it was nothing.  
“Hey man, I saw you walk in with that girl, you’re a really lucky guy!”

_Baby, let me blow your mind tonight._

Sure. That’s what people had been telling him all day.  
He was lucky.  
He felt like telling the man the truth about Robbie out of spite, but of course he would never out Robbie like that, he didn’t want to get him in trouble.  
Because after all, Sportacus was the lucky one. Not Robbie.  
Sportacus looked around, he had never felt this level of irritation until all of this, he felt like getting away from it all, it was so exhausting.  
At that moment it had finally hit him.  
“Is this what Robbie feels like in lazytown?” He thought.

Robbie lowered himself to the ground as the song began to fade out and his act was over.  
After he was officially finished he gazed down at the floor and looked at all the money the patrons had thrown out to him, most notably a 20 dollar bill.  
He scooped up the money and began to count it as he walked slowly but surely back behind the velvet curtain. It was way more than what he and Sportacus needed to get a taxi, but he wasn’t complaining. “I should do this more often.” He thought.

))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

He met back with Rich on the side of the stage.

“I have never seen these folks so riled up, that was some fine work m’boy,” He laughed, “But I don’t wanna see you up there ever again, y’hear?”

Robbie smiled and nodded, jumping up to give him one last hug before he reunited with Sportacus.  
“Thank you, sir!”

Rich put a hand on Robbie’s shoulder, “Now you go with your little friend over yonder, he looks mighty lonely over there at the by by himself.” He winked at Robbie and shoved him in Sportacus’s direction.

Robbie started to blush at Rich’s accusation but quickly pulled himself together. He sauntered over to Sportacus with the pride of a lion.  
“Wasn’t I great up there, Sporty? They all loved me.” He held up the wad of cash before he stuck it in between his stocking and his thigh.

Sportacus looked up and began to blush, Sporty? Robbie had never called him that before, it sounded too… cute...  
“Yeah. I did.”

Robbie frowned, he was expecting way more enthusiasm from the hyper-active elf. He could’ve at least tried to sound happy.  
Robbie grabbed Sportacus’s hand, “How about we go into one of the booths over there, hm? Away from all this… noise.”

Sportacus stared down at his fingers, and took in how perfectly they intertwined with Robbie’s.  
He also noted how robbie had fake nails and nailpolish on.  
As they began to walk hand in hand Sportacus felt a sense of safety and calmness wash over him, releasing all of his angry thoughts and feelings and replacing it with pure bliss.

Robbie slid into the booth and sat comfortably on the purple leather seat, patting the space next to him, signaling Sportacus.  
“I counted out the money and we have about $270, which is enough for us to pay back what I stole and to get a ride back home.”

Sportacus was hardly even listening at this point, not only was the music too loud to hear Robbie anyway, but he couldn’t help but only focus on the smile plastered on Robbie’s face. He had never seen Robbie smile so much, it warmed his heart to see Robbie so happy. He stared at Robbie’s lips and took note of how close they really were.  
Shoulder to shoulder, thigh to thigh.  
He could smell the familiar scent of Robbie’s perfume, it smelled like…. Apples?  
Sportacus leaned in closer to Robbie, catching his attention. As he noticed a faint blush appear on Robbie’s perfectly painted face, he swore, if he just leaned in a little bit closer he could just-

“Courtesy of the gentleman at table five.”

Sportacus jumped at the sudden noise of a tall glass of the familiar purple liquid Robbe had drank earlier clink against the table.  
He turned around and glared at said table. He stared daggers into the two drunken men as they waved stupidly at Robbie, stealing his attention from him.

“Well that was nice of them, I guess.” Robbie smiled at Sportacus before examining the glass in his hand. “I’m not gonna drink it... Just in case they put something in it.”

Sportacus felt proud, not only because Robbie was smart enough to know to never take drinks from strange men, but also that he turned them down in general.

Just then an unknown man slid into the booth with Sportacus and Robbie, staring lustfully at the costumed villain as he spoke quietly, “What do you say, you and I go into one the private rooms for a lap dance, hm?”

Sportacus cringed and gazed up at Robbie, who looked surprisingly calm.

“Sorry, but I don’t give private shows.”

The man began to rub his leg against Robbie’s inner thigh under the table, and an enraged Sportacus noticed.

“Come on, I’ll pay you well.”

Robbie shifted uncomfortably in his seat, “I-I said no. Now beat it.”

The man leaned over the table and spoke aggressively, “If you don’t i’ll get you fired quicker than you can blink. Now what is it going to be?”

Sportacus’s crystal began to beep, and that was the last straw.  
He stood up and grabbed the collar of the man’s shirt, and time itself seemed to have stopped when his fist connected with the man’s jaw in a manner most violent.  
Once everything came to full speed he stared down at his shaking hands, he couldn’t believe it.  
He had never hit anybody that way in his life.  
He stared back at Robbie, who was just as shocked as he was.  
Sportacus stepped over the unconscious perverted man and left the club in haste.

The disguised man looked up at Rich from across the room, who seemed to be dying of laughter at his friend’s antics.  
Robbie was anything but laughing.  
He stared perplexedly at the front doors and his expression softened as he slid out of the booth and pushed past all of his ‘adoring fans.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the name if the chapter is the name of the song i used, just in case anybody was wondering


	8. Average Man

Sportacus heard the door open behind him, but decided against turning to see who it was. Even if the perverted man had come back to get his revenge he didn’t care.  
He just wanted to leave.

Robbie stepped out into the pale moonlight and stared at Sportacus, pausing so he could think of what to say.  
He slowly stepped towards him and crouched down, resting a hand on Sportacus’s shoulder for both reassurance, and balance.  
He felt Sportacus’s muscles relax underneath his hand.  
“What’s the matter, Sportacus?”

Sportacus didn’t expect Robbie to be so calm, he expected him to come out of the club screaming about how he ruined his night.  
He shouldn’t have though, since Robbie was relatively calm all day.  
He stayed silent, he couldn’t think of anything to say, everything was jumbled in his head and he didn’t have the energy to pull any words out of the mess that was his mind.  
He turned around to face Robbie, opening his mouth in an effort to say something, but nothing came out.

Robbie stared thoughtfully at Sportacus’s eyes, they were red and wet, from what he assumed was crying.  
It pulled at his heartstrings, he had never seen the hero so upset, even at his worst moments he looked better than this.  
He stared down at the wad of cash in his stocking and then back up at Sportacus.  
“Look… um, I’ll go call a cab. We can go pay off what I stole, and then we can go home. Does that sound okay?”

Sportacus nodded his head slowly, still confused about how nice Robbie was being to him, yet thankful for it.

Robbie squeezed Sportacus’s shoulder and gave him a small but reassuring smile, “Okay.”

As he watched Robbie fade back into the nightclub he began to ponder, “Robbie must hate Lazytown more than I had imagined, if he feels like this all the time while he’s there...” He thought.  
“I just don’t want him to feel like this ever again.”

Robbie emerged from behind the dark glass doors once more, folding his hands together in front of him. “They should be here to pick us up soon.” He slowly roamed over to where Sportacus was and sat down next to him.  
He began to think of the better parts of the day and began to giggle, “Today really was something, hm?”

Sportacus turned his head slightly and smiled, “Yeah… but hopefully we don’t have to do it again.”  
“Right. It was fun while it lasted though.” He sighed and leaned back on his hands, “to tell you the truth, I haven’t had this much fun in years.”

It made Sportacus feel bad, he never wanted to make Robbie feel trapped in his own town.  
All he wanted to do was make everybody in Lazytown happy, and before tonight, he thought he was doing it perfectly.  
He ignored what his father had told him years ago, when he was first being trained to be a hero. Different people have different needs.  
He snapped out of his dreamlike state when a yellow taxi rolled up.

Robbie stood up first, and lended a hand to help Sportacus before being stopped by the driver.

“Er… I don’t… Pick up prostitutes….”

Robbie snorted before glaring sharply at the driver, “You wish I was a prostitute.”  
He opened up the cab door and slid in.

Sportacus stared at the seat inside, he had ridden in a car today already, and he preferred running, jogging, and even walking over riding in a such a cramped space.

Robbie looked up at the elf expectantly, scooting over to the other side of the seat. “Come on, coach.”  
He patted the space next to him gently.

He didn’t really have a choice.  
As he ducked his head to sit into the seat the driver began to speak.

“Where to?”

“Lazytown…”

“I mean an address …”

Robbie closed his eyes and leaned back onto the dark grey seat, “Doesn’t matter.”

The driver looked back and raised an eyebrow, “Rough night?”

Robbie stayed silent, but gave the man a slow nod.

“...Want a cigarette?”

Sportacus’s eyes widened as he watched Robbie pluck a singular cigarette out of the driver’s yellowed fingers.  
Robbie looked over to Sportacus as he lit the end and took a long drag.  
He studied his face, finding traces of worry and annoyance.  
“What?”

“Robbie…out of everything i’ve seen you do that is the worst thing.”

“I know.”

“Then why are you doing it?”

“...I don’t know.”  
He took one final drag before he rolled down the window, and blew smoke out, before discarding the cigarette.

“Thank you.”

Robbie shrugged as he stared up at the starry sky. “It’s the least I could do.”

Sportacus had to admit, Robbie looked gorgeous in the moonlight, how it made the glitter in his clothes shimmer, and how it made his eyes glisten.  
Not to mention that it matched his own skin tone perfectly, making him glow in the dark of the night.  
He was staring at Robbie so long he hardly noticed when Robbie ever so gently intertwined his fingers together with Sportacus’s.

He scooted closer to the shorter man, remembering what Rich had told him.  
He slowly but surely began resting his head on Sportacus’s shoulder, not only out of tiredness, but out of affection. He knew that after today, the elf really needed it.  
It was warm and firm, and he began to wonder if his lips were the same way.


	9. Affection

As the cab rolled up to the town hall it came to a stop.  
As Robbie counted out the money to pay the driver Sportacus stepped out, and was welcomed home with open arms.

“Sportacus!” The mayor hastily trotted over, “Oh my-- Sportacus where have you been?!”

“Nevermind that now, go find a blanket for Robbie.”

“What? Sportacus I don’t--” He stopped mid-sentence when he spotted the slender man in lingerie step out of the cab and watch it roll away.  
“...Oh, right away.”

Sportacus turned to the children sitting on the steps, all laughing and getting up to greet him with hugs, merely glad that their hero was home.  
He felt bad for Robbie being left out, even if he was in inappropriate attire, it was upsetting that nobody had even asked about him.  
He turned to look at him, noticing that the mayor had finally done what was asked of him.  
The way Robbie stood there so delicately in the dark purple sheet made Sportacus’s heart flutter.  
He felt a tap on his shoulder and he spun around quickly, meeting the gaze of a police officer.

“Hello Mr… Ten? I’m from the Rottenville police department, we just need you and and your… ‘friend’ here to answer some questions for us, since you don’t have a police department of your own here in Lazytown.” He turned to the mayor, “You should work on that.”  
He took Sportacus by the shoulder and Robbie by the arm, and took them to the squad car.  
“You boys aren’t in trouble now, we just need to know exactly what went on yesterday and today so we can find out who kidnapped you two.”

Robbie nodded and shut his eyes, “Alright.”

Sportacus was starting to get tired himself, he had hardly moved at all and he didn’t eat anything but one apple the entire day. It was okay though, since he was next to Robbie, he didn’t care too much.

))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

This was probably the least awkward part of the day, Robbie sitting on Sportacus’s lap due to the lack of chairs in the policeman’s office.

Sportacus wasn’t really complaining though, as he held Robbie close he mainly just focused on how he needed to stay still.  
He didn’t want Robbie to get up and leave because he couldn’t keep his cool. It wasn’t too hard anyway, as long as he kept his arms around Robbie’s waist.

“Sportacus…”

Sportacus sensed worry in his voice, he squeezed the taller man tighter, “Hm?”

“...Do you think they’re going to put me in jail? ...For stealing that stuff?”

Sportacus pressed his forehead against Robbie’s back, “Didn’t you pay that stuff back?”

“Yeah…”

Sportacus smiled, “You worry too much.”

Robbie nodded, “I suppose.”

The policeman came in through the door with a file, “Alright boys,” He sat down and put the file down in front of them.  
“This isn’t the first time something like this happened, the only difference being that the last few people haven’t been found.”

Sportacus’s eyes widened.

“You… you mean we would’ve died?”

The officer shifted in his seat, “Well… Not necessarily, we just… haven’t found the others.”

Robbie stirred in Sportacus’s lap, looking back at him fearfully. 

“Y’see, based on the note they left in Lazytown,” he turned to Robbie, “Near your home, the handwriting here matches the handwriting on these notes from previous kidnappings.”

Sportacus could hear Robbie’s heartbeat grow faster with every word.  
He grabbed Robbie's hand and ran his thumb over it in an effort to calm him.

“Do either of you have any idea how lucky you are?”

Lucky?

Sportacus looked up at Robbie as he squeezed his hand tighter.

Yes, he was very lucky.

Robbie turned to face Sportacus again, worryingly. It had just struck him.

“If Sportacus wasn’t there, I would have died.  
If I weren’t there, Sportacus would’ve died.”

He began to blush as another thought came to mind, a thought he would’ve never had before today.  
They really needed each other, whether they cared to admit it or not.  
He took in the warmth from the arms around him.  
Of course this wasn’t the first time Robbie had been held by Sportacus, but this was the first time it was out of affection and not because he was being saved.

Even then, there was a sense of endearment that came with it.


	10. Text Me in The Morning

Sportacus was tired.  
Tired of all the car rides, tired of talking to people he didn’t know, tired of not eating anything, and tired of moving.  
It was well past 8:08 and it was taking it’s toll on the sports elf.  
He had never fallen asleep in the back of a car before and he wasn’t going to start today.

As the squad car came to a final stop the Police officer got out and trotted around the other side to let Sportacus and Robbie out.  
The officer watched the two shuffle out as he rested his elbows on the top of the car, “Alright boys, we’ll call you back if we need any further information from you,” He smiled, “Now you two stay out of trouble.”

Robbie smiled as he bent down to take his heels off, “we will.”  
He watched as the car rolled off as he took both heels in one hand, never in his life had he worn them for so long without his feet starting to hurt, so he was proud of himself for having them still. Not to mention it made his legs look even better.  
He gave his attention to Sportacus finally and took the hand being held out to him.

They walked hand in hand in silence, though it spoke a thousand words.

Words like… love, trust, determination, happiness, among the ones neither of them spoke until they reached the middle of town.

They took in both of each other’s hands and faced each other straight on.

Robbie could hardly find it in himself to look at Sportacus in the eyes, never in his life had he been in such an intimate position, yet here he was.  
“Some night, hm?”

Sportacus smiled up at Robbie, “We should do it again sometime.” He winked and pulled Robbie in closer.

Robbie snorted and looked down at the ground, “As if. I’m never walking around in heels for a whole day ever again. ”

Sportacus pouted, and stayed quiet to think.  
“Maybe we could … do something else together though?”

Robbie smiled mischievously at the shorter man, before pulling him into a tight hug.  
“I’d love to.”

Sportacus tilted his head, taking in the scent of Robbie’s perfume as he pressed his lips against Robbie’s cheek.  
Robbie pulled away and stared at Sportacus Incredulously, “Sport…”

Sportacus shifted around uncomfortably, was what he did bad? He began to panic, he did something wrong… he wasn’t suppose to…

All his worries melted away as Robbie cupped his hands around Sportacus’s face and kissed him hard on the lips.

He could feel Robbie’s lipstick smearing as his eyes fluttered shut and he began to kiss back.  
He let his arms slip around Robbie’s waist, pulling him closer as he deepened the kiss.

When Robbie pulled away the second time he was breathing hard as he looked at Sportacus with glazed over eyes.  
He began to giggle at the sight of Sportacus wearing his lipstick.  
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Sportacus.”

Sportacus nodded and let go of the taller man as he watched him saunter away towards his bunker.  
He had to admit, he hated seeing Robbie go, but he loved to watch him leave.

Robbie turned around one last time before jumping down the hatch that lead to his lair.  
He smiled at the unmoved elf and gave him a final wave before closing the entrance behind him.

The elf sighed before calling down his ladder so he could finally rest in peace.  
As he climbed up his mind began to wander to thoughts of the next morning.  
Would they both act like nothing happened?  
Would Robbie stop trying to run him out of town every day?  
And his personal favorite, Maybe Robbie and I could be together after all.  
All these thoughts were put away when he finally reached his airship.  
He slowly crawled up and called out for his bed before staring at the familiar pole in the middle of the ship.  
He smiled-- maybe he should let Robbie have a go on it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of Spoil Me Rotten!  
> Thank you for sticking with me through this horrendous fanfic and thank you all for the love!  
> As always, if you'd like a short one-shot just shoot me an ask or a message on my tumblr-- @queen-anarchy-666
> 
> Thank you again darlings! <3

**Author's Note:**

> I do requests! If you want a one shot that's 1000 words or less then shoot me an ask or a message @queen-anarchy-666.tumblr.com (only characters that ive written for before or fandoms im in)
> 
> ALSO: STEFAN KARL (aka Robbie Rotten) HAS BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH PANCREATIC CANCER AND IS TAKING DONATIONS TO HELP HIM AND HIS FAMILY THROUGH IT. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO MAKE A DONATION HERE IS THE LINK: https://www.gofundme.com/2tm9tqk


End file.
